Not Today Satan!
Getting harder to rise from bed
Barely alive, feeling dead…
Same stuff different day
Try to keep the demon at bay
Every day boring and mundane
No one wants to hear you complain
Why can’t everything go right?
I’m tired of this exhausting fight
A million thoughts through my brain
They come in waves, hit like a train
I have a lot of good in my life…
So why do I go through so much strife?
I just want to make it all go silent
If my life ends, then eternal quiet
But too many people depend on me
I am thinking too selfishly
I’ve prayed to God for years and years
Through all the pain and all the tears
But he doesn’t return any calls
Through all my tribulations and falls
He sits, he watches, he laughs, and he destroys
Through true loves, evil brethren, real friends, and decoys
It’s so hard to wade through all this
I’m hurt and raging so I SCREAM and I HIT!
I’m filled with all this HATE and RAGE
Inside of me the eternal war I wage
It boils over, infects my entire life
Just cut out this tumor, grab a sharp knife
I try to feed my good side, while the demon sleeps…
But into my conscience the demon constantly creeps
Ripping and shredding and tearing apart
But I face it head on with all of my heart
I push and fight the demon to bay
To the darkness of my soul where it lay
As I lay my head down to sleep
Manic thoughts flood from the deep
It never whispers, it always SHOUTS
I scream “SHUT UP! I Rebuke You Get OUT!”
Please leave me for just a few hours
Until I rise for that morning shower
I strive and stumble to do it all over again
I find strength in my wife and children Amen!
Hopefully it’s enough to make through the day
It’s harder and HARDER to keep the demon at bay
This is my life as I hide behind a fake smile
Waiting for my death sentence after a long trial
This world has so much bad and too little good
I see it for what it is, yet I’m still misunderstood
Every day the fight leaves me a bloody mess
I try to think of my daughters in a pretty dress
Snap out of this hell that I’m trapped
I have loved ones in my corner, that’s a fact!
Through all the darkness a shimmer of light
Stand up, Move forward, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
I blindly push forward into the void again
Wishing the demon was no longer within
Someday the darkness may take over
But today’s not that day, today I’m stronger
So until the day my soul you reap
Back to the darkness my friend from the deep
Until the weight on my shoulders is too much to bear
Then I know…every turn, again you’ll be there.
By Jeremy Caquelin
